Jackie Chou

I Look Up to You 

I look up to you,

beyond skin color,

beyond aptitude.

I don't need to touch your surface,

for I only see your shine.

I look up to you,

like a stargazer 

instead of a lover.

I distance myself from anyone 

who might think otherwise.

I look up to you,

and it's something intangible.

You beg for the feel of my hand,

a kiss on the lips.

I look up to you,

like one does a porcelain god.

You want an earthly love,

someone your equal.

I look up to you,

it is my undoing. 

It makes you uncomfortable,

and I am sorry.

I look up to you,

wishing you could say

the same about me.

Up 

I am up,

up like wings 

propelled by wind

I am up.

I am up

where even the sun

cannot keep up,

its face shrouded 

in clouds.

I am up

against gravity 

I am up,

like a pug's nostrils 

I am up.

I am up above 

the downward glances

I am up.